The beginning of the end....

So a bright light at the end of my very long, emotional tunnel known as divorce.  There is no win/win in this situation, but to finally know there is an end to the roller coaster provides mental closure.

As for emotional closure, not sure that will ever go away.  Mostly because of the affect this has had on my children and to their lives as well as to my own.  But I have come to terms with it, and am trying to embrace it.

The holidays definitely bring a new level of emotions I wasn't quite ready for, but knowing they are there I deal with it.  My focus is my kids, my job and my home.  I'll get to where the focus is me at some point, but that is my game plan for now.

I look at how far I've come over the last year and for those of you out there, there is life after divorce.

My Best Friend's 50th Birthday!!

While I don't have pictures to post, it was an amazing weekend with my BFF!! We started out the weekend exhausted after spending an evening with her beautiful grand children...but boy they make you feel your age!  They are so full of energy...boy if we could just bottle it!!

So after a good night sleep we got started the next day with new tires for me and a visit to the hair salon for her. After that we went and got manis and pedis.  Free wine too!!  So fun and relaxing.  Our toes look pretty good if I do say so myself.  Then home to meet up with her husband and spend a WONDERFUL evening downtown Bend enjoying hors d'oeuvres and cocktails.  After that we headed back to the house to make sure all the lights for the next evening were set up and then soft opening for the Voodoo lounge!!  Dum Dum was warmly lit outside warming the cool crisp night air as we enjoyed the fruits of our labor.  Next day is party day...so excited!!

Then Saturday, day of the party.  Betty was so cute thinking it might rain or no one would show...no chance of either of those happening!!  We did the final touches to the yard, set up tables, food, etc. getting ready for the big night.

Then the guests started to arrive!  Good friends, drinks, food and of course Karaoke!!  It was a blast!!  Never mind that there was an Oregon State game that went into double overtime and caused half the guests to migrate into the living room to catch parts of the game (Beaver's lost by the way), but that didn't sway Betty from having a great time and enjoying friends and family.  The fires in the back yard were burning (thanks Andrew!!) and s'mores were roasting.  Then a very touching moment of the evening when Glenn toasted his beautiful wife and the 50yrs of her life.  The evening went on with songs at the Karaoke machine and lots of laughing and more singing.  Almost everyone joined in and enjoyed each others rendering of songs.    Glenn had the highlight of the night doing a "floor" show while singing painted black....pics to follow....LOL!

As the evening started to wind down, us die hards hung around to the end.  A quiet reflection in the lounge as everyone left...Betty feeling the affects of us keeping her hands always holding a full glass/bottle of an adult beverage.  A 50th birthday party that was one of the most amazing nights I have experienced in a long time.

Then comes the reality of the "day after"...Betty, feeling a little...well in her words..."not as young she once was".  :)  The warmth of the sun that day was the only relief from the lack of sleep and over indulgence.  But all worth every second...right Betty?

Fall is in the air...

Starting to look and feel like Fall.  Usually this is the time of year I start to feel blue.  Gone are the days of sunshine and warmth, but this year will be different.  I know it won't be without the emotional struggles, but I'm already enjoying the color of the leaves and the thought of hot soups for dinner!

Hello old friend...

Hello old friend my blog.  Well much in my life has changed since my last entry.  Who knew that I would now be a soon to be divorced woman.  Interesting how life can change in the blink of an eye and you're left asking yourself "what the hell happened....??!!".  It has only been through strength and support of my children, my family and my dear dear friends that has helped me to come out on the other side realizing not only am I stronger for it, but I'm going to be ok too.

Yes, it is a drastic change to one's life...financially, emotionally, psychologically, but survive one does!!  And to get to the point to finally be excited to see what your new life will hold is a miraculous feat that couldn't have been imagined even a few months ago.

So I begin my new journey.  I have a new focus on my children, a new outlook on my job, and a reconnected closeness with friends that have been my lifeline!!!!  Without the support of them I don't know how I would have made it.  Weekends of crying, texting out of lonliness, inviting myself over....they are always on the other end, love unconditional with no judgement just support.  I will never be able to fully express the gratitude of what that has meant and done for me.  You know who you are and I love you for helping me get my life back.

So what's next?...that's the best thing of all...everything.  So much to look forward to, so much of life to enjoy, not taking any of it for granted.  Living in the moment and relishing in what life has to offer.

The journey has begun.  

OK.....long overdue update. It's the beginning of Spring Break and it's pouring down rain outside. Nothing new there...living in Oregon, it's typical. Have been going crazy with work, again nothing new, but looking forward to taking a few days off at the end of the week during Spring Break.

Jake's in Santa Fe, New Mexico this week. Went down there with his girlfriend's family. We might see him at the end of the week for a few days before he goes back to college. Emily has a new boyfriend so we haven't seen much of her either...So it's just Paul, me and the dog. I think we might all be able to come together next weekend.

I am soooooo ready for Spring weather, not just the calendar's indication. It seems like it has been a VERY long winter this year, time to come out of hibernation. My dearest friend has posts on her Facebook about spring growth starting to poke out and it makes me smile thinking of seeing her sunflowers again this year. I sure wish we lived closer to where they are, they are the kind of friends that are like family and are truly near and dear to our hearts!!

Watched 'Twighlight' again last night on DVD. So loved the book and a bit disappointed with the movie watching it for the second time. Watched it at mom and dad's after Paul's bday party with the rest of the family and they all had a kind of wishy washy thought about the movie. They didn't really care for it. I am anxious to see how the subsequent movies do compared to the books.

Off to Montana this week for work... love the beauty of that state. Not as much as Oregon, but not far off. My goal with travel this year is to try and take a little time to actually enjoy and take in some of the sites of the areas I am visiting as opposed to just running from one location to the next.

After an already very long morning of work, thought I would take a break with some coffee and a post to my blog (I have to keep reminding myself..."me time"!!).

So what to write about today...well, it just so happens it is our dog Libby's birthday today. She's 8yrs old. Well it's sort of her birthday. We found her in a shelter and fell in love with those big brown eyes. Really, she picked us the way she looked longingly at us to take her home. When we got her she was around 7 mos old and so we estimated her birthday and picked Jan 21st. So while this means nothing to her, our family is BIG on birthdays so of course Emily and I were already talking about how we are going to celebrate (we'll tell Paul what the plans are when he gets home). Maybe dinner and a movie, maybe just dinner and shopping - Emily is going to Winter Formal and needs a dress. I'm sure Paul will be excited with the prospect of shopping.

Of course none of this directly involves Libby and in fact she will be left outside with her cedar bed and some food and water, probably even a pig ear, while we are out celebrating. We will let her know all about how much fun we had on her birthday and thank her for giving us an excuse to celebrate. Oh sure, we'll throw her toys around and play catch, hide a treat under her cedar bed to find, play tug o' war, her favorite game, and maybe even take her for a walk. She is so spoiled 365 days of the year I don't know that this day will be any different than any other day for her. She has brought so much fun to our lives. She's a lot of work, A LOT of hair, and a horrible case of neurosis, but she's part of our family. Happy Birthday Libby!!

Jumping for a snowball in the air...she loves to play in the snow!

She's ready to go in now, all tired out and time for a nap.

THEY'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Costco finally has these delicious little snacks back. We got hooked on these as snack for camping and then Costco stopped carrying them around Halloween. We have tried different substitutes (the Blue Diamond Wasabi Almonds aren't bad) but nothing compares to the wasabi kick these have. They're terrific and thankfully, they're back!!!!!!!

Have you ever had the perfect day...? Well this one was pretty close. A beautiful setting, warm sun, cold snow and great friends. This is what life's great momments are all about!! We drove up to the Ochocos, to the snow park just past Walton Lake and hiked in. We stopped along the way to soak up some warmth from the sun before heading down the road. Hard to believe we camped here this summer in the blistering heat!! What fun.

Happy New Year!

My New Year's resolution...more "me" time and that starts with this blog. I have been inspired by one of my closest and dearest friends, who's blog I look forward to reading (yes reading, not just looking at the great pictures) regularly, to post about life's day in and day out experiences. So this begins....frequent or infrequent writing, detailed or light, but having fun in the process.

Happy New Year to me!!!